Face Value
Posted on December 6, 2010 | posted by:
Photo courtesy of ericaglasier.com
Recently, a friend and I got into a discussion about boundaries of ‘sharing’ on Facebook. It seems that many people feel matters which were once considered private should now be open for public consumption, comment and debate. My understanding of relationships was that they are formed and maintained through intimacy between two people. Beyond that, one could decide to share details with others, based on an additional relationship of trust and communication. Personally, if I need advice or simply wanted to vent, I select the right friend for the situation at hand. However, the glass houses we choose to inhabit on social networking sites provide others unprecedented access to our lives. As our levels of sharing increase and what was once sacred becomes publicly owned, there is seemingly less and less private space to relax in. As much as I am comfortable sharing many things about myself with others, I would like to reserve the right to decide just what the information is and who I share it with. One can argue that, through privacy control settings, I maintain control of what information goes out and who it goes to, but herein lies the problem: retroactively altering privacy choices creates a wave of backlash.
Since moving to NYC a few months ago, and examining social media in school, I felt the need to limit the amount of information I volunteered to the world via Facebook. I grew uncomfortable with ‘friends’ having the opportunity to comment on my life, pass judgements, and make assumptions on who I was based on limited knowledge and candid remarks posted on my ‘wall’. I know the very nature of the term wall implies a public message, however not everyone shares the same level of discretion when it comes to sharing their thoughts on my wall. For this reason, I thought it would be best to keep it private, restricting the option of posting on my wall to myself alone. Somehow, this upset a few ‘friends’, stating they would not able to communicate with me in the way they wanted to. The notion that I preferred to keep personal messages ‘personal’ was buried by their proclamation of my infringement on Article 13 in the American Convention on Human Rights. My right to moderate my published identity was apparently subject to their approval.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrlSkU0TFLs
My intention to make personal relationships more personal created an interesting dilemma. Should I defend my right to control what I share on Facebook, at the risk of jeopardizing certain relationships? Or were some these ‘friends’ not worth having in the first place? What does ‘friend’ even mean anymore? I chose to stick to my guns and defend my right. I’m now attempting to navigate the treacherous waters of ‘de-friending’.
Christine Norine, a TV and photography production manager based in Los Angeles, is currently undertaking the Public Isolation Project. Norine is spending 30 days living in a storefront window in Portland, Oregon. Her outside communication is restricted to technology via Twitter, Skype and text messages etc., all projected overhead for everyone walking by to read. “You have friends on Facebook you have never met, and they know more about you than your mother”, said Norine in a recent interview with CNN.
Norine’s point is well taken Although we seem to hide in the comfort of our ‘bubbles’, speak less to strangers, and drive ‘bigger-means-safer’ cars, we increasingly subject ourselves to tremendous vulnerability on the Internet, adding copious amounts of detailed information to our digital records. Everything – from where we are at any given time via GPS to who we share a bed with – is accessible to almost anyone.
The argument that our digital history is becoming more powerful and less controllable than how we represent ourselves in person is a scary thought, but is becoming a reality. Employers doing background checks via Facebook and Twitter, personal relationships ending over misdirected text messages and Google searches linking you to tagged videos from an ‘exploration’ period during college – it’s the world we are living in and our digital footprint is deeper than many of us realize. I would argue that while the culture of media sharing and ‘open-sourced everything’ continues to grow, people may actually begin to share less about themselves, or at the very least, exercise improved judgement of what’s really suitable or safe to splash across the communal walls of the Internet.
Like a wreckless teenager, it is possible we’re just going through an impulsive phase, trying to discover who we really are and who we want to be; making a few foolish mistakes along the way. Unfortunately, these mistakes are next to impossible to erase. Once it’s out there, we don’t get to decide how and when it’s used. Maybe we’re enjoying this moment of self-imposed exploitation before we grow up and move on to a period of digital awareness and maturity. Time will tell and the Web will continue to keep track.